The Last Battle of the KPTL

The Last Battle of the KPTL

G.H. Goins

 A Brief Introduction

The Land of Miza.  A vast continent inhabited by many creatures of many sizes.  Miza is split into three countries: Masibo, Tootles, and Pegansnoofle, Miza is ruled by a fair king, MK (Marshmallow King, the Eleventh). He lives in the Castle Plush, in Masibo. His military is an army of peeps, about 200,000 troops.  Patrolling, at all times, is a group by the name of the KPTL (Kangaroo Penguin Turtle League).  

Randy is a blue kangaroo, with no pouch, and has beutiful violet eyes. He grew up in Stodard, Masibo. He is the leader of the KPTL. He applied to a kickboxing school but was rejected. Randy decided to teach himself instead.  By the time he was thirty-three, he was the best kickboxer in all Miza, and could prove it too. 

At the age of thirty-six, Randy designed and supervised the construction of a massive wall, called the Barrier surrounding Snood forest.  The reason he did this was to protect the population of Miza from a great beast, called a Shmoo. The Shmoo is a red, black-spotted cow with a brown turtle shell.  There was only one remaining Shmoo in Miza, but it's simply too hard, some would say impossible, to kill. The Shmoo is attracted to anything blue. The Shmoo's only weakness is the color purple.  If it eats anything of the color purple, it will die. Simple enough, right?

*

      This story starts in Dog Wood Forest.  Today's the day. The Poodle King has finished the job.  The bridge is ready to cross. The Kogglesnoff River will be traversed. The KPTL will be distracted.  The Marshmallow King will be destroyed. It is all falling into place.

Thus begins the last adventure of the KPTL.

*

      Today's the day! The one day of the year when the KPTL gets together without having to bring justice to some enemy.  The one day of the year when Randy gets genuinely excited about something. The one day of the year when the KPTL get together to just be friends, not that they weren’t. The many battles and missions fought together brought them close.

      Everything for the great banquet was falling into place.  After the feast, MK would get to see, in person, the Barrier from the view of the Great Tower.  

      Castle Plush is an enormous pink castle.  MK had a bed in every room. Each bed was stuffed with cloud foam, along with cloud foam pillows.  MK’s favorite meal was chocolate pudding. One would simply find stains all over the place from where he spilled his dessert.  

      Unlike most castles, Castle Plush did not have torches. It didn’t need any. The glow from the colors and rainbows inside was all that was needed. Thankfully, MK has those taken down for the banquet and replaced with glow-wood, (Randy hates rainbow decorations).

      Randy, as always, arrived first to the Castle Plush. He was first because his post in Stodard was only 500 rogs away. 500 rogs is a very long way, but compared to the other members it is not very much. The 52 hours in a day make it easy to make it there before nightfall.  

      The plan was everyone would arrive about two hours before nightfall, party, drink root ale, and feast.  In the morning, they would travel all the way to the Great Tower and sleep on the way. This was going to be the best banquet yet.  

      Posey, the tortoise, arrived second.  Maddox, the penguin, arrived within the same hour as Posey, third. 

      Posey was the fastest tortoise in all of Tootles.  He won every race he tried, with much time to spare.  His normal speed is the fastest the average tortoise can go. He was a valuable asset to the team because Posey had a unique talent.  He’d flip over on his shell and spin around very fast, sticking his feet out and while spinning, trip people.

      Maddox is the cutest thing in the entire world. Growing up, he was the most popular kid in his school. Many other children disliked him strongly due to his popularity, so one day they decided to surprise attack him on his way back from school. Right before the ring leader hit Maddox, he stopped.  He simply could not hit this little helpless creature. Maddox continued on the path home without a scratch. This was his everyday life.  

      The Great Banquet was a blast.  It was one of the finest feasts in all of MK's 429 years.   They had the best jesters and entertainers in all the land (I would describe it to you more fully, but it could take all night). There was only one thing left to do: visit the Barrier and sleep for the 29 hours it would take to arrive.  It would be a long day, ride, and, of course, nap.  

*

      PK's (Poodle King, the Third) best Chihuahua soldier, Fig, was to be supervising the lowering of the bridge.  PK could see the Chihuahua’s little head bobbing up and down, barking and jumping at the same time. Ugh, Chihuahuas, PK thought.  He was quite grateful he was not one of those silly creatures.  

      The Kogglesnoff River was rushing as fast as ever.  Nothing could stop them now.  

      PK could see the Barrier about 15 rogs in the distance.  It would be the best day in poodle (and Chihuahua) history.  Until today, PK was a distant legend. Well, technically his grandfather was, but now the new legend was rising and this time a better bigger army was at the ready. There was only one thing left to do.  

     Destroy the Barrier.  

*

29 hours later

      They passed through Pegansnoofle, first through the Plains of Lorrel. The caravan made its way across a massive bridge over the Emptier. They briefly navigated along the Icy Doons, a beautiful view in the distance. In the last couple of hours, when they were all awake, they rode consistently alongside Kogglesnoff River, and finally, the Great Tower came into view. What a sight it was. Reaching towards the sky, the massive wall ran as far as the eye could see. As the carriage carried them towards it, it turned right, moving alongside the Barrier. In the distance, a tower stood above the wall, tall and majestic. The Great Tower.

      A fil-dub flock flitted beside the carriage, as it joggled and bobbed down the path, towards the Barrier, the yellow birds tweeting cheerily along.  

      As they were nearing the Tower, the caravan passed through two columns of battle Peeps, the column on the right were pink troops and the one on the left was blue. In order not to agitate the Shmoo, there were no purple Peeps anywhere near the Barrier vicinity.

     They climbed the stairs up the enormous wall, first to get a good look at Snood forest.  The vast expanse was stunning. 

      The company then climbed the winding, stone, staircase, which led to the top of the Great Tower.  The company could hear their footsteps on the cold stone floor. The torches' blue-ish light flickered on the walls, the shadows dancing.   

      Once they reached the top, Randy, Posey, Maddox, and MK could see the river, Icy Doons, Dog Wood forest, and even the Mivumbi and Expo Mountains. The dark pink sky, peering down upon them.  

      All the colors of the world had always dazzled Randy, the evidence of the Creator clearly seen. The KPTL had always believed that there was a designer, one which they called the Creator.  Bringing that belief to others was not their job. Protecting was.  

      Posey was enjoying the view just as much as the others when he heard Randy gasp. He must be relishing the view just as much as I, Posey thought.   

      Suddenly, a blue battle Peep flew back from a patrol, and commanded everyone, especially MK, to get below the observation deck, on which they were standing.  Randy quickly asked why.

      "Two thousand armored Chihuahuas are crossing a new bridge and they are coming from the Dogwood Forest. They are fiercely armed and it appears as though they bring catapults and ballista,” it replied breathlessly. 

      "MK," said Randy, turning to face him, "do what the battle Peep said."  His voice suddenly took on a new tone, one with more graveness and authority in it.  MK hastily did what he was told.

      Turning to Posey and Maddox, Randy ordered them to prepare for battle.  

      "They're going to destroy the Barrier, releasing the Shmoo and defeating all the battle Peep and most likely MK as well. We must protect him.” He put his fist to his forehead, clearly stressed. “We are cornered.”

      Posey and Maddox stared, wide-eyed, at Randy.

      "Move!" Randy ordered.     

     In unison, they answered, "Yes sir!" 

      Randy turned to the blue battle Peep. "Rally the troops!  I want them battle-ready as soon as possible. We meet the enemy on the field. Go!"  It flew away.  

      Why did I not see this coming! Randy was thinking, The Poodle King has returned!

      Randy hurried down the Tower's staircase extremely quickly.  He must stop them before the army gets close enough in range to destroy the Great Tower.  How? It came to him in a flash. The world seemed to stop right before his eyes. It felt as though a heavyweight was dropped in his gut, a wave of sudden nausea washing through. He was going to stop him once and for all.  Randy was going to need some help.  

      With steel-toed boots, a chest plate, and a dog whistle, Randy was a ready warrior.  Posey looked very awesome and prepared. He put on a different shell, also composed of steel. Maddox did nothing of the sort. In fact, he did quite the opposite of them; he took a bath so he would look extra fluffy and cute. They were ready for battle. 

     The KPTL climbed the stairs of the Great Tower.  Three battle Peeps were waiting at the top, blue, pink, and yellow, waiting for their arrival.  

     "Are you two ready?" inquired Maddox, in his naturally deep voice. Then he cleared his throat and said in the sweetest voice he could muster "Excuse me. I mean, are you two ready?"  

      "It's time to get serious."  Posey snapped, then added, seriously, "I was born ready."

      "It's time," informed Randy, grimly. "Remember to stick to the plan, no matter what happens to me.  Understand?" Randy had gone back to his true self, as it appeared, but something was different and they could not put a finger on what it was.

      Posey and Maddox nodded, solemnly.

      Maddox climbed on to the nearest Peep. They took off. Randy jumped off the tower, and his Peep followed and, while falling, Randy grabbed onto the Peep's legs. Posey felt bad for his Peep. The Peep flew away to get reinforcements. It took four battle Peeps to lift him up and follow the other two into battle. The KPTL would save their king or die trying. It was fight or flight, literally and figuratively 

      The KPTL landed near a pile of brush, in a position that put the brush in between them and the oncoming forces. In the distance, behind them, Randy could see his colorful troops moving ever closer.  There were only about five-hundred battle Peeps against two-thousand Chihuahua. PK was nowhere to be seen.

      "Where do you think their leader is?" Posey whispered, to no one in particular.

      "There is no way to say for sure, but it looks as though that Chihuahua over there could be."  Maddox pointed to where the Chihuahua, called Fig, was literally barking orders to other soldiers.

*

      Fig knew where they were hiding.  It was kind of hard to miss a giant turtle on the back of four colorful birds.

      The plan was going just as PK said it would. Hitting the Barrier on the side was a much better idea than doing it way out here. The KPTL is distracted. Along with all of their troops.  This is working better than he expected.

*

      The plan was failing much worse than he expected. The 500 troops, now charging the Chihuahua army, were simply not enough to destroy the oncoming forces. Today was the day the KPTL cannot save. The day that they would fail. The day that the world may be devastated.  The day that evil wins over good. 

     Randy came out from behind the brush and joined the running hoard, as it rushed to defeat the enemy. Maddox climbed on to Posey because Maddox can only waddle, not run, into battle.  Posey also joined the angry throng at a gallop.

     From here on, this battle would be legendary.  It would be known as the Battle of Snood.

     One rog… half a rog… a fourth of a rog… fifty legs… twenty-five legs… ten legs… five legs… and… crunch!  

     And the final battle of the KPTL has begun.  

      If one were to float above this scene, one would see chaos. One would see the best kickboxer in the world. One would see a spinning turtle.  One would see a cute and distracting little, fluffy penguin, right in the center of it all. One would see despair. Ruin. Destruction.

      Death.

      The Chihuahuas were failing. Miserably.

      For some reason, Posey and Maddox could not tell why, Randy was kicking (and dog-whistling) and fighting better than he ever had. Where had this new warrior come from? Randy was a natural-born fighter, but during this battle, he was fighting harder than they thought possible. For the time being, it looked as though the KPTL would stand to fight another day.

      Except… a war horn sounded.  

      Coming from the Barrier.  

      It was a diversion.

      "RETREAT!" Ordered Randy, "RETREAT! It's a diversion! RUN!"

      Randy grabbed a battle Peep and informed it to take off toward the barrier. It did as it was told.  

      As he was flying away, Randy yelled "To the Barrier!" and most of the troops began taking off, all except for Posey's and Maddox's. They followed on their peeps. 

      Randy completely forgot about MK and when he arrived at the Great Tower, he was there and looked very distressed.  He was muttering things Randy could not hear nor understand. From the view of the Tower, Randy could see legions of the Chihuahua. Thousands. 

      What troubled him the most, was the massive trebuchets and catapults that were set up to destroy the Barrier. They were going to die after all. He knew this. From the very beginning, he knew this.  

      Today was a good day to die.

      As soon as he jumped, Maddox and Posey arrived on their battle Peeps.  Randy winked at them before he made his fatal leap, into Snood forest.  

      Posey and Maddox screamed his name.  They were too late. He was giving up.  The leader of the best society in all of Miza was giving up.  

*

      The Shmoo was hungry.  He heard the war horn and was curious. The massive cow arrived just in time to see some idiot jump off the wall.  

      Oh! An easy meal! 

*

      As soon as Randy hit the ground, the Barrier fell. PK had won the day. The King would die. The army would be crushed. All would be eaten. Starting with the leader of the KPTL.

      Randy couldn’t stand because his legs had broken in the fall, but with his eyes closed, Randy got on his knees and yelled with all his might, "Violet!" 

      What a funny thing to say, thought PK.  

        But then, he understood.  Before PK could stop him, Randy was gone.  In the belly of the beast.

      The Shmoo was content…

      Until he wasn't anymore. In a flash, the giant turtle-cow was gone. Just like Randy.  

      "I don't understand,” Maddox said, devastated. "How did that work?"  

      Posey answered, "His eyes. They were purple. Well, he always said that they were violet, but everyone knew that they were purple. Randy must have known from the beginning that that would work. He did it for us, Maddox. He died for us.”

      The rest of the battle was easy. They were able to defeat the enemy in one last blow. The remaining Peeps took to the skies and started dropping things on them, mostly rubble from the destroyed wall.

      After the battle, Posey, Maddox, and MK were all trying to figure out how Randy set up his final stand. They began by asking all the battle Peeps. They found that Randy had set it up a long time ago.

*

      Within the half-hour of "getting ready for battle," Randy was hard at work.  First, he asked one of his best Peeps to watch the battle as they were fighting from the Great Tower.  He told it to blow a battle horn, the biggest and loudest, which would, as he hoped, agitate the Shmoo. He told him to blow at the time when they were almost done fighting the two-thousand Chihuahua army.

      Next, Randy instructed the elite-discreet team, five Peeps with the ability to camouflage, to patrol and make sure that the other army of Chihuahua was en route for the Barrier.  About five minutes later they returned with the information that Randy needed in order to proceed. How he knew about the second army was that while they were observing on the deck of the Great Tower, Randy was in a different spot then the rest of the group.  He could see both armies. That is why Posey had heard him gasp. 

      Third, Randy had to make sure that the Peeps that they were going to fly on were colorful and vibrant. The thought process behind this was to make sure that Fig would see them and that way it would not be a surprise attack.  

      All these things he did, Randy had to validate and make sure that the rest of the KPTL were busy and occupied with their own work.

      Posey, Maddox, and MK rode back to Castle Plush, and on the way back they were tired.  They were silent. Contemplating. Grieving. Feeling guilty. Ignorant. Foolish. Vexed.  Angry. Sad. Uncomprehending. Understanding. And eventually, content.

     Getting to that point, content, was the hardest battle the PTL had ever faced.  But, it was well worth it.  

                      the end 

or, perhaps, an ending.